19 Days

Time by Goya. She decrepit, aged, weary, brittle, wearing a beautiful ball gown that hides her weak and feeble legs. The other person studies intensely and is studied even more so. The face, the teeth, the sunken eyes, crouching, hiding, afraid? Their faces are expressionless, anticipating what? Then the angel in the back ground is about to swing. Or is he? Is it the angel of death? Is it scary? Not at all, at least not to me. This painting only screams to me to be aware of time, and I think I am.

In only 19 days I will no longer be in Utah. I feel like each day that it comes closer brings me to a new perspective. Yesterday I turned down the offer to be in Old Yeller at the Rose Theatre, today I got called from a potential employer seeking an interview. If I had this job (part-time) then my schedule would have worked out for Old Yeller. Did I make that decision too soon?

I guess I feel like in 19 days my world will be turned upside down. I don't have any clue what our income will be like. I don't know if we'll have storage for our belongings for the two weeks that we will be homeless. I don't know if I will have a job. I want a full time job with all the benefits. I've applied to probably 20 and I've had one interview and maybe a second next week, but the upcoming interview is for a part time job, no benefits, not what I want. Do I interview and just take what I can get?

The other thought that is a constant vigil of my mind is the hope, the dream, the aspiration of owning a home. That is my number one goal right now. And, you wouldn't believe all the advice people have to offer (okay so maybe you would). Most everyone in my husband's family probably thinks that I am too eager because every time I even say one thing about the housing market in Lincoln they jump in with: "You should live there for at least a year to really know where you want to live." Do they know? Do I listen to their advice? Or do I rely on my personal instincts and knowledge?

In nineteen days I will be leaving this Utah status quo to a place I don't know. I am scared, I've heard bad things about Lincoln, NE. I am excited too. I am glad to experience, but I am sad to leave. I get frustrated thinking about money and jobs and experiences because I really don't have any clue as to what is in store. Is there a hole anywhere that I can run to and hide in?

True inspiration for me.

Lean on my ample arm, O thou depressed!

And I will bid the storm Cease in thy breast.

Whate'er thy lot may be On life's complaining sea,

If thou wilt come to me, thou shalt have rest.

Lift up thy tearful eyes, Sad heart, to me;

I am the sacrifice Offered fro thee.

In me thy pain shall cease, In me is thy release,

In me thou shalt have pease Eternally.

"Lean on My Ample Arm" LDS Hymn #120

And more

I am having issues with blogger, specificially loading more than six pics at a time...so here is just another post of pics. TJ wishing he was on the cruise ship.

Cruise ship on the road! Cruise ship on the road!

Yes, this is a rooster, but here in Kauai they call these Wild Kauai Fowl.

This place was incredible. It is called Spouting horn. There is a couple of holes in the lava rock, so when waves come crashing in to the shoreline instead of coming up over the rock they come spouting up through this hole.

We went SNORKELING!!! It was probably my favorite part of the whole time. I floated with the fishes and breathed under water. I felt like ariel.

More Pics of Hawai'i

This is at Waimea Canyon. The drive up to the canyon was desert and dry and it looked a lot like UTAH...But at least the humidity told us we were in Hawai'i. This is much like a little Grand Canyon. And it is breathtaking. And so are TJ and I.

On our last jaunt we sat on a pier to watch a cruise ship go sailing out of the bay. And then we realized that there were maybe ten or twenty sea turtles right in front of us. ("It was either ten or twenty I don't know") The Hawaiian name for sea turtles is Honu. They are so cute.

This is a picture of the FORBIDDEN ISLAND, Ni'ihau. Apparently this place was purchased by some European family in the early eighteen hundreds. And they have not done a single thing with it. They say that if you land on the shore of Ni'ihau you will be promptly asked to leave. If you do not leave a gargantuan Hawaiian man will forcibly ask you to leave.

We sat under a tree to read and I looked up to see this. (Sigh)

This was at Queen's Bath as well. Aw!!! Cute.