THIS IS HOW I REALLY FEEL

I've been accused of not being funny enough in my blog. And I've been accused of not being a good enough actor. Not that I would really be upset by what others think, or even let them give me a complex, I'm just not that sort of person. I know who I am, I know God's plan.

The death of my blog and my wedding plans occured on August 29 2005. I am an overachiever, but not in my classes, and I admit it. I've got too much on my plate and unfortunately my blog has gone down hill, (along with my wedding plans, they've just stopped completely!). I guess to those who blog fanatically just don't understand.

So, you may ask, what is it that has taken up my time? I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO BE WHEN I GROW UP. I want to be everything and nothing is helping. I can ponder this thought for hours on end. I'll look at grad schools, or yoga teacher trainings, or publishing websites, or whatever and just get all knotted up in my stomach. Am I a good enough actress? Should I try that venue?

My stake Relief Society Pres keeps on mentioning the fact that "some girls are choosing majors with no marketable skills," and then I feel her laser glare pulsating at my entire being. Why am I not an astronaut...they have really marketable skills? How cool would I be if I was a published author? Or, what if I was as funny as some, funny like...hmmm Lis Lark? And then people would comment on my blog and not to my face? Huh? Huh? They wouldn't tell me to my face that I needed to write better things, they would just tell me about the cool comment they made or whatever. (FRUSTRATION)

Okay okay, i really am not at all that up tight. I really don't care what others think. But for reals, if you read my blog, please tell me what you think I should be when I grow up? A Business person with my name on a cup? Or a doctor who would save lives all day?

When I was on a plane an older woman sat down next to me, hugging her purse rather tight. After a few deep breaths in and out she let loose a little. I kept to my own business until I heard this awful sucking and spitting noise off to my right. I looked in her direction and saw that she took out her little lipstick case with a mirror and was flushing her gaping teeth with her own spit. I couldn't believe my eyes or ears. Who on earth would make such a fuss. The irony occurred when the man behind her cleared his throat and she got the most disgusted look on her face, as if she was about to die because he did so.

That is not the point of my blog at all. The thing I have never been able to find a happy medium with is a purse. It is either too small, and I have too much stuff to put in it. The small ones start to look bulgy and like a waste basket. Or, in the other case, it is too large and i never have enough stuff to put in it. So, what do people put in purses. I know that if and when I make that step into purse-dome I will have a little lipstick case with mirror, but other than that, what should a purse carry?

The other problem I run into is how to match a purse to an outfit...I found, when I did carry a purse that I felt uncomfortable when I would clash with it....how do you solve something like this. I know that someday my back pocket will be too little for all the little things I put in it and that day I will find a purse.