I read my blog last night and one thought came to my mind: What the Sam? I realized that it made my wedding sound plan-less and un-organized, but I wanted to write this disclaimer that my wedding will be the best freakin' wedding ever. Chocolate Fountain and all.

I also just wanted to vent: I hate the fact that my wedding dress scares me. It scares me in the sense that I am afraid to bust out of the seams. I am afraid to try it on again for the sake of saving some self esteem. I guess I just feel a bit more pudgy. I am fully aware at the fact that I am a small person, but I don't care for the picture that I saw of myself in the Daily Universe with a chubby face. This is what I should look like right?

I love to work out because I always feel SO good after doing so, but I can't drag myself to the gym. I HATE running--with a passion. I know that it's the fad in Happy Valley to run and be thin. YAY! However, when I run I feel like I am about to die. And I don't think that would be the craze to catch on. Just imagine, one short, out of breath, pain stricken runner with another, carrying on a conversation (every other breath, like you have to because you are so out of shape you can't talk and run at the same time). Their conversation would go something like this: "oh my goodness (breathe in and out in and out) I love the fact that I am about to die." and the next person comes back with the same out of breath thought. "Seriously, (breathe in and out in and out) I guess I never realized just how awesome it felt to cramp, and feel dizzy, and cold all over, like I am about to die. I LOVE IT."

Okay, so that's probably not how it really is, but in my mind it sucks.



I don't want to be a suzie sucker so I'll accentuate the positive: I do love love love yoga. I feel like a million bucks when I get to execute an interesting pose for a minute. I feel like the world has harmony and that I have found a place in the fit group. I feel happy inside and like everything in "Happy Valley" really is happy, when I do yoga. But I just can't bring myself to do it alone. I have the know how, and I hate to brag, but I am pretty darn good and pretty flexible and can do most poses...but I still just don't do it? Why on earth is it so hard to make my way to the mat?

So, anyone looking for a great service project? Do you want to go to yoga with me? What about a seamstress? Do you know anyone who can let out a couple inches? Or what about a nip and tuck specialist who can take in an inch? Maybe that will work too?

And now I turn to some inspirational words from our dear General Young Women's President: Susan W. Tanner:

"The pleasures of the body can become an obsession for some; so too can the attention we give to our outward appearance. Sometimes there is a selfish excess of exercising, dieting, makeovers, and spending money on the latest fashions (see Alma 1:27).
I am troubled by the practice of extreme makeovers. Happiness comes from accepting the bodies we have been given as divine gifts and enhancing our natural attributes, not from remaking our bodies after the image of the world. The Lord wants us to be made over—but in His image, not in the image of the world, by receiving His image in our countenances (see Alma 5:14, 19)."

Okay okay, so this whole "thin" thing doesn't really matter to me at all. And I am sure I shall fit into my dress, at the same time I would like to continue doing yoga so I can have that flow of energy and positive calmness. It's good for the soul. I may be a little chubby here and there, and I don't really care. But I do want to be healthy and fit. No harm in that eh?